1st day of school today and I've been quite off-key today I think. I'm not one who hates school but maybe I'm just tired today, so most of the time I acted weird lol.
Lessons as usual today, don't really like the new timetable though. Went out at normal school time to get some breakfast at macs with sprout in the morning. Could get used to the 9am school on monday haha. It's been some time since I slept in lessons from term 2 - I used to sleep all the time but I kinda changed to try to stay awake around may. Dozed off during math today and I think it's time for me to get myself together again and try my best to stay awake :|
So after school went to jem with sprout for dinner!
Headed to ambush for dinner and this was like a meat and tomato based paella! Tasted alright but not would not specially go back there just for this dish haha. During dinner we talked a lot and one of the topics got me thinking really hard even as I reached home.
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So, how do you see yourself after university? In 10 years?
Well, I'm turning 16 this year and honestly, I have no clue. This question always gets me stuck everytime. When I was young, I had this dream of opening a book store with ceiling-high shelves filled with books. I lived this dream by buying loads of books when I was young, but it kind of faded away after a few years when I realised that it wasn't that feasible to open a store. When I went to school I envisioned being a teacher when I grew up, so that I could teach and help the students. But that stopped for a certain reason in around year 2/3. My most recent ambition was then to be a doctor cuz I wanted to save people. I realised that all it took was a doctor to change someone's condition and I wanted to be such a person which could save lives. But now, I'm not really clear of what I want to be. The doctor ambition is sort of still around, but I feel that it's really pressuring and stressful to be a doctor albeit the amount of people I can help.
I thought about it, I thought about what I wanted to do after everything. I wanted to save lives, I wanted to make other peoples' lives better, I wanted to help others. I then realised what I wanted to do was to be of help to people in the future, be it through medicine or other ways. I've always wanted to do social work to give back to the society. I'm also someone who likes giving advice, "counselling" other people, encouraging them in their hardships and seeing my efforts pay off when they feel better. I've always liked being a good listening ear, and I've also always liked it when others appreciated my help. In chinese, 助人为快乐之本. I like to help people with the aim of pleasing them and making them happy.
So I decided, that I see myself as someone who can be of as much help as possible to others in a few years time after I graduate. I've wanted to do this for quite some time and I guess I'll live to it in the future :-)
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Feels good to be able to sort out your thoughts and the possible routes you'll be able to take in the future. Haven't decided on a certain ambition but at least I know what I want to be able to do next time. But of cuz if I want to do that I'll have to start now, and kick off all my bad habits and start getting myself together. Have been really disorganised recently and I think it's really time to get my shit together. Term 3 is going to be a really hectic term and I've got to learn how to not just survive it, but also live it.
Gotta set some personal goals for myself, gather my shit and do this. Cuz what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Good night :-)
Labels: life, school, thoughts
