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sixteen and an introvert

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Held a small initiative for our english project's video with amelia and cheryl today at sentosa/vivo. So our initiative Take 5, was actually an act of high-fiving strangers to pass on the liveliness and happiness in SG. Gave them small notes as well. Quite an eye-opener for me I must say. Not so much of seeing new stuff, but more of a big realisation.

Not going to talk so much about how the entire thing went but more about what I feel about the entire thing so I guess this is kinda going to be a messy post. Most of my thoughts aren't very sorted out as well haha. The simple act of a high-five to strangers brought smiles to many of those who responded to us when we approached them. Of course there were also people who rejected us (mostly SGreans sadly) but many did acknowledge us tho some of them were a lil' apprehensive at first.

First thing I would like to talk about is the fact that most of the people who rejected/ignored us were SGreans. Quite a sad fact as this project was targeted mainly to raise awareness about their liveliness. It occurred to me that our lives in SG were so fast-paced that we don't even have time to appreciate anything around us. We are so constrained by time that most of us don't even have time to relax. We just dismiss strangers and random people off in our lives cuz they aren't part of our fast-paced lives. I guess this is what makes SG such a dull place sometimes.

Next is about the feeling of happiness of bring smiles to their face. Haven't felt so happy in awhile honestly, having strangers' faces turn from confusion to smiles. Most of them were confused at our initiative at first, but after explaining and high-fiving, they all had smiles on their face, and it really made my day. To know that someone is slightly happier than before because of your efforts is a really blissful and heartwarming thing to know. Although a high-five might sound superficial to some, I think that it isn't really about what we do or how we do it, but about the result that comes out of it - making someone happy. However I guess I still prefer the conventional way of service, through helping them. Thought about becoming a social worker in future but I guess I won't prioritise it as my career, but just a hobby/interest in the future.

Might just come up with more similar initiatives in the future maybe in the holidays, cuz nothing beats the surge of happiness from being able to benefit others.

Labels: life, service, thoughts

Headed to ambush for dinner and this was like a meat and tomato based paella! Tasted alright but not would not specially go back there just for this dish haha. During dinner we talked a lot and one of the topics got me thinking really hard even as I reached home.

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So, how do you see yourself after university? In 10 years?

Well, I'm turning 16 this year and honestly, I have no clue. This question always gets me stuck everytime. When I was young, I had this dream of opening a book store with ceiling-high shelves filled with books. I lived this dream by buying loads of books when I was young, but it kind of faded away after a few years when I realised that it wasn't that feasible to open a store. When I went to school I envisioned being a teacher when I grew up, so that I could teach and help the students. But that stopped for a certain reason in around year 2/3. My most recent ambition was then to be a doctor cuz I wanted to save people. I realised that all it took was a doctor to change someone's condition and I wanted to be such a person which could save lives. But now, I'm not really clear of what I want to be. The doctor ambition is sort of still around, but I feel that it's really pressuring and stressful to be a doctor albeit the amount of people I can help.

I thought about it, I thought about what I wanted to do after everything. I wanted to save lives, I wanted to make other peoples' lives better, I wanted to help others. I then realised what I wanted to do was to be of help to people in the future, be it through medicine or other ways. I've always wanted to do social work to give back to the society. I'm also someone who likes giving advice, "counselling" other people, encouraging them in their hardships and seeing my efforts pay off when they feel better. I've always liked being a good listening ear, and I've also always liked it when others appreciated my help. In chinese, 助人为快乐之本. I like to help people with the aim of pleasing them and making them happy.

So I decided, that I see myself as someone who can be of as much help as possible to others in a few years time after I graduate. I've wanted to do this for quite some time and I guess I'll live to it in the future :-)

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Feels good to be able to sort out your thoughts and the possible routes you'll be able to take in the future. Haven't decided on a certain ambition but at least I know what I want to be able to do next time. But of cuz if I want to do that I'll have to start now, and kick off all my bad habits and start getting myself together. Have been really disorganised recently and I think it's really time to get my shit together. Term 3 is going to be a really hectic term and I've got to learn how to not just survive it, but also live it.

Gotta set some personal goals for myself, gather my shit and do this. Cuz what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Good night :-)

Labels: life, school, thoughts

So it's the 16th today and half the holidays are gone. Haven't really been doing anything as of now; all I've done for school is probably a few questions in each of my homework. Blame it all on my short attention span I guess, I can never sit down long enough to finish something unless under special circumstances. And remember how before every holiday started I would list out the stuff I wanted to do and etc, but haha it never really works out does it.

Homework aside, decided to watch a few movies this holidays. I've finished The Avengers series and a few other movies. Must say I really liked Avengers, maybe cuz I'm usually drawn to superhero stuff. I've always liked Captain America since before and now after watching everything together he just gets hotter haha. So I've started following his news recently as well hehe. Also caught up on various of my fandoms and started reading again haha stuff I would never get to do in the school term. I always say I'm bored in the holidays but I guess I'll be missing such nothingness and freedom when the school term starts and all of my school work starts piling up again. Well I don't really hate school but I guess I just need to learn how to adjust, and I'm taking a long time at it.

I would say the rest of my holidays left are pretty packed and all's left might be enough for me to complete my school work if I really make use of the time. Not forgetting revision cuz term 3's gonna be really hectic and I really don't want to drain myself out so much (even if I know it's impossible). This year's EOYs start much earlier and I guess I gotta put in the effort for the kind of results I want. I tried in term 2 and my results kinda surprised me cuz even though I tried I didn't think I tried hard enough. Most of the days I studied I just fell asleep on my couch instead lol. Guess miracles don't happen twice, so I better make good use of my time now and in term 3 if I want to do well.

I also sent in my schedule for work next week sigh, kinda regretting it now seeing the amount of stuff I have to do. But I'm really short of cash nowadays so I guess I'll just tolerate it for a few days and probably never go back to work till nov/dec holidays. I don't know why I just keep dreading work ever since this year. Hopefully next week will be fine and I'll see if I get motivated to work on the last week as well.

Sigh. I looked through my new year's resolution the other day and found out that I haven't even achieved most of them. Half a year's almost gone and I can't actually believe time past so quickly. While we were all absorbed in our little worlds time never stopped and just continue ticking. Have to learn how to make better use of my time. Well, time wasted can never be taken back after all. Maybe this calls for a time to start re-organising myself again.

Labels: life